ENG 101 ESSAY ONE DRAFT ONE EXAMINATION Essay #1 Read the essay exam prompts carefully and then choose only . Write a thesis-centered essay of

ENG  101 ESSAY ONE DRAFT ONE EXAMINATION Essay  #1 Read  the essay exam prompts carefully and then choose only .  Write a thesis-centered essay of at least 500 words in response to this one question.  Be sure your essay addresses all parts  of the question. You  have 90 minutes to compose, revise, and proofread your work.  You are permitted to use two writing aids on this exam: (1) a paper dictionary (no electronic dictionaries), and (2) notes written on the articles that you made in the margins or blank spaces of  the exam readings. As  you develop your essay, make sure that you provide sufficient support throughout your essay.  Analyze your examples to show their relevance to your argument.  Use your own observations, experiences, or other sources to develop your claims.  When you cite directly  from the readings, use proper MLA in text citation. essay I wrote need to be fixed:HEADING?-should write INDENTThe process of learning is an inevitable one for every human being as he/she goes about doing his./her daily tasks. Many are the occasions when we find ourselves compelled to learn new things whether formally or informally so as to fit in to a given situation. Learning of languages is one example of a very common learning process undertaken by many people. Whatever one is learning, he/she may end up enjoying it and doing it as fun rather than a punishment if the teacher is friendly. However, the experience will be a complete opposite if the teacher is disgusting. Disgusting hung? You give a lot of power to other people, and very little to learners. I wonder students who get through 12-14 years of school are able to complete their studies if they delineate power this way. Learning languages, especially foreign ones, can be quite a costly affair and affect humans negatively by lowering confidence in their abilities to do everyday activities.  Your thesis is arguing that humans should not learn foreign languages because it is costly and lowers confidence? Wouldn’t that also be the cost of learning anything… or going to college? Maybe something to think of moving forward. INDENTLearning languages can be an avenue for one to be humiliated and scolded by those who are supposed to teach him/her. When we embark on learning a second, third, or even forth language, we often hope that this would earn us additional experience, skills, and the aptitude COMMA which increases our chances of getting a job. Some educators may be hell-bent to discourage you or they may be simply seeing you as a nuisance because of your lack of knowledge in that language. CIRCUMSTANIAL…. LEAVES THIS ARGUMENT WISHY WASHY. IT ALSO IMPLIES YOU KNOW INTENT, WHICH YOU NEED TO PROVE. This is demonstrated by David Sedaris in his story “Me Talk Pretty One Day” when he says what his French teacher told him. The teacher said to him “I hate you…I really hate you” (Sedaris par. 20). GOOD MLA APPLICATION. The teacher hated Sedaris because, according to her, he was lazy. This is very insensitive of the teacher and can make the student lose self-esteem.BUT THIS SELF ESTEEM ISSUE WAS ONE STRENTHENED BY HIS EXPERIENCE IN THE END. Low self esteem may have a negative impact not only on his class performance, but also affect his everyday interactions with others. Whenever he goes out in the course of his daily activities, Sedaris may findit HERE IS THAT MAY AGAIN….hard to start conversations because he feels he is not up to the task of communicating in French. INDENTOften, some people may be compelledto learn a second language for the single reason that they are doubtful of the legitimacy of their first language. Such fellows feel that their language is MORE backward and unsophisticated than the language they want to learn or are in the process of learning. In the story “How To Tame a Wild Toungue” by Gloria Anzaldua, this fact comes out when she says “I grew up feeling ambivalent about our music. Country-Western and rock-and-roll had more status” (42). Here, Anzaldua means that music composed in her native language was not “fashionable” when compared to music composed in English. She says that semi-literate agringado Chicanos felt ashamed if they were caught listening to such songs. Here, Anzaldua wants to illustrate to us how the presence of a second language that is perceived to be superior negatively impacts people in their everyday activities such as listening to a good song. If the song is composed in the inferior language, it is not going to be attractive even if it is nice. NICE? This clearly illustrates how embarrassed they were with their language in favor of a foreign language. CENTEREDWorks Cited Anzaldua, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” Borderlands/ La INDENT AND FONT frontera: The New Mestizo, 1987. 33-45. Sedaris, David. “Me Talk Pretty One Day.” . New York: Little, INDENTBrown, 2000. 166-173. Teacher comment:Overall you have a strong thesis. I am playing devil’s advocate here for you to push your argument. It is weaker than the thesis by way of the proof. The second body paragraph needs to connect to the thesis more clearly in your topic sentence. You don’t have a conclusion and you could really use more development.

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